Martins Guest House has a FOOL PROOF  SNAIL ERADICATOR method     ©        myth

Background colour similar to that of a suppressed ESCARGOT flesh.

Pronounciation:  Es 'Car 'Go   colloq: "snollie"  sc. pulp'aneous per'suadus 

Many travellers will attest to the healthy, vegetarian snails that they have perceived at our guest house in Port Elizabeth. These snails eat only greens and have been noted for the crispness of the tracks that they leave. (pun)

Shown above is a rarely normal quality named "Leaveless".  You will note that the leaves have left  - almost left off one could say. Tracks clearly indicate the direction of the snails. (Down).

Preparation -  Find a brick. This should be a normal brick and not a large size brick which you cannot lift. When you have found the brick, look for another one. It is understood that if you have a large property, then this will take a while, so we are typing slowly awaiting your return.

Eradication - Place one brick face upwards. This implies that one is using facebricks. Place the first snail on the brick. Now, and this is important, place the second brick on the first brick and press gently, then more firmly until the bricks meet. It may be necessary to avoid splash-damage.

Disposal. You may place an advertisement in the newspapers advertising a mash-snail base for pizza's and garlic starters.

Guarantee. This method is guaranteed to eradicate your garden of all snails.

Things to watch for - ESD - Extended Splash Damage (Turn your squelch down).

For more information on SNAIL ERADICATION contact pietie@martins.co.za

Important Note: All snails suppressed after 1999 are completely Y2K compatible.

Coming soon (next feature): INSTANT WATER (just add powder)

PBP - Planted By Pietie